Credits to Andrea Piacquadio
When a person believes their own lies, it is known as pathological lying, also called pseudologia fantastica. This is a type of lying in which a person consistently and compulsively tells falsehoods, often to the point where they may not even realize they are lying.
Pathological lying can be a symptom of several underlying psychological conditions, such as borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, or antisocial personality disorder. These conditions are characterized by a lack of empathy, a tendency towards manipulative behavior, and an inflated sense of self-importance.
People who engage in pathological lying may have a variety of reasons for doing so. They may lie to impress others, to gain sympathy or attention, or to cover up their own feelings of inadequacy or shame. They may also lie to avoid taking responsibility for their actions or to avoid the consequences of their behavior.
One of the key features of pathological lying is that the person often believes their own lies. This is different from conscious lying, in which a person deliberately tells falsehoods with the intent of deceiving others. In the case of pathological lying, the person may become so caught up in their own fantasies and fabrications that they come to believe that they are telling the truth.
This can make it particularly challenging to address the lying behavior, as the person may genuinely believe that they are telling the truth. They may become defensive or even hostile when confronted with evidence that contradicts their lies, as they perceive this as an attack on their own reality.
Treating pathological lying typically involves addressing the underlying psychological conditions that are contributing to the behavior. This may involve therapy, medication, or a combination of both. In some cases, the lying behavior may improve with treatment, while in other cases it may persist or worsen over time.
Not All Lying is Pathological
It is important to note that not all lying behavior is pathological lying. People may engage in conscious lying, which is lying with the intent to deceive others, for a variety of reasons. They may lie to protect themselves or others, to gain an advantage, or to avoid consequences.
However, even conscious lying can have negative consequences for the liar and those around them. Lying can damage trust and relationships, and can cause emotional pain and distress for those who are lied to. It can also lead to legal or financial consequences if the lies are discovered.
What to Do
When dealing with a person who lies, it is important to approach the situation with compassion and understanding, while also being firm about the need for honesty and accountability. It can be helpful to address the behavior in a non-judgmental way and to provide opportunities for the person to tell the truth and make amends.
For example, if a child is caught lying, a parent might say something like, “I understand that it can be hard to tell the truth when you think you might get in trouble. But lying is not acceptable and it damages our trust in each other. I need you to tell me the truth about what happened so we can work on fixing the problem together.”
Similarly, if a partner is caught lying, it may be helpful to approach the situation in a non-confrontational way and to express the hurt and betrayal that the lying behavior has caused. It can be helpful to offer the opportunity for the partner to come clean and to work together to rebuild trust and repair the relationship.
While pathological lying is a specific type of lying behavior in which a person believes their own lies, lying behavior in general can have negative consequences for the liar and those around them. It is important to approach the situation with compassion and understanding, while also being firm about the need for honesty and accountability. Addressing the behavior in a non-judgmental way and providing opportunities for the person to tell the truth and make amends can be helpful in repairing relationships and rebuilding trust.
Treating pathological lying can be a difficult and complex process, as the behavior is often rooted in underlying psychological conditions such as personality disorders. However, with the right treatment and support, it is possible for pathological lying to be stopped or significantly reduced.
One of the key components of treating pathological lying is therapy, particularly cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT aims to help individuals identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors that contribute to the lying behavior. This can involve teaching the person how to identify and challenge their own distorted thinking patterns, as well as teaching them more effective coping strategies for dealing with stressful situations.
In addition to therapy, medication may also be helpful in treating pathological lying, particularly if the behavior is associated with other psychological conditions such as depression or anxiety. Medication can help to manage symptoms of these conditions, which can in turn reduce the frequency and severity of the lying behavior.
Support from loved ones can also be important in the treatment process, as it can help to provide a sense of accountability and motivation to change. This can involve providing encouragement and positive reinforcement for honest behavior, as well as setting clear boundaries and consequences for dishonesty.
While pathological lying can be a challenging behavior to address, and it can be painful for the person being lied to, it is possible for the behavior to be stopped or significantly reduced with the right treatment and support. Therapy, medication, and support from loved ones can all play a role in the treatment process, and can help individuals to identify and change the negative thought patterns and behaviors that contribute to the lying behavior. While the process may be long and difficult, many individuals with pathological lying can learn to manage their behavior and live more honest and fulfilling lives.